Parenting is a full-time job, and it happens to be a job that you enter into with no schooling to equip you with at least a basic knowledge of it. You learn on the job and you learn every day. You learn by reading, you learn by hearing others’ advice, especially your own parents, and knowing about their experiences, and you learn by trial and error.
The internet is full of parenting resources and advice. Some work for you, some don’t. It all depends on every person’s situation. But I absolutely love it when I come across parenting advice that seems wholesome and applicable to everyone. I stumbled upon one such advice today on Megan Wyatt’s Facebook page and thought of sharing it with you all.
I believe in apologizing to my kids if I have done something that was not in their best interest.
If I snap at them and it’s because I let my stuff get misplaced on them I’m going to take full responsibility the moment I recognize it.
And because of that I also have two teenagers who serve as a good mirror for me.
Yesterday it was my 13 year old son, who knew earlier I’d wanted to go to the gym, who said “Mama, go ahead and go workout. I think you need it as you seem a bit stressed.”
So off to the gym I went even though it was close to closing time. I did need it and I came back happier and ready to fully reengage with the family.
When I was back I apologized to my teen son and six year old daughter who I snapped at and gave them hugs and got hugs.
I also believe in teaching my kids how to take responsibility for their behavior too and how to fix things when they’ve dumped their “stuff” on someone else in the family.
But to do that I and my husband have to role model it.
Neither of us believe our “authority” is undermined by being real people who admit their faults.
And when your kids know what real loving relationships look like, blunders and all, they will know what to expect of others in the future.
They also will know that it’s ok to be imperfect but there is a responsibility to fix things if they have hurt someone else with a choice they have made.
Love means to take take responsibility for my behavior and not blame you for it.
It means to consider which angel is writing and remember that Allah knows what I am responsible for.
It’s making taubah, making amends, and being proactive in relationship repair and nurturing.
No matter how small a child is – remember – they are a person who feels and has feelings.
I don’t want to ruin the effect of what has been said by talking too much about it, but all I want to say is that I found this to be so important. We need to remember that children are individuals and deserve respect just like all individuals do. I hope I can raise my kids this way.
For those who don’t know, Megan Wyatt is a life coach and trainer, speaker, and author, whose life mission seems to be to help women strengthen their relationships without losing focus on themselves and their dreams in the process. I find her pretty amazing, and I highly recommend you follow her on Facebook.